Happy Holidays

The idea of a Christmas truce is a meaningful but pointless one. However we live in harder times. The business of killing is so important that pausing for a single day might create an intolerable backlog of the living. So the death machine rumbles on into the new year.

Merry Christmas

New Bike

My new bike, a Merida Matts sport 300 disc

I test-rode a stock frame yesterday, the disc brakes were an absolute dream compared to the v-brakes I'm used to. The bike stops in something like half the distance and slows evenly the whole way and the frame felt generally solid yet quite light. I'm getting a size larger than they had in stock so I'll have to wait till Jan 3 for mine. They'll change the tires to some thinner Continentals, stick on some cow horn bars and change the rear derailleur. That should make it a real goer. If you're in the St Lucia area and you need a bike, you can't go past the Uni Bike Shop.

Weak and cowardly

"When is it my turn to be Reichskanzler? You promised I'd get to have a go! Can I at least drive?"

Jews Jones not to blame: Costello

December 20, 2005 - 12:14PM

Racism in Australia can easily be "whipped up", says Treasurer Peter Costello, but he does not blame the media.

Mr Costello said today gangs of youths had incited racism in Sydney, but said the local media were not responsible for fanning the flames.

"I think racism can be easily whipped up in Australia," Mr Costello said.

"I don't think there's racism on the street, no, I think we're a very accepting country," he told ABC Radio.

Sydney talkback radio personalities, including Macquarie Radio's Alan Jones, have been accused of fuelling racial tensions in the wake of the recent Cronulla riot.

Asked if he thought Jones "went too far", Mr Costello said he did not.

"That's not what I mean by whipping up," Mr Costello said.

"I think it can be fanned if gangs of youths come into a neighbourhood and try and take it over. That can fan racism.

SMH

Racism is the fault of the ethnic group being victimised rather than a hate radio station that reads out incitements to violence on air and eggs on criminals. Well done Pete, 300,000 votes will surely flow your way from Alan "wog basher" Jones. Costello's got a yellow streak down his back a mile wide. He can't face up to John Howard so he's taken a break from begging to have a go at being PM to wiggle his hips at Johnny's electorate.

Radio's mad mullah

Why isn't Alan Jones being charged with a crime?

Dear Honourable Senator Coonan

Forgive me if my form of address is incorrect. I write you to enquire as to whether your ministry intends to investigate whether Alan Jones of 2GB violated the Broadcasting act in the course of broadcasting statements as follow:

"Come to Cronulla this weekend to take revenge. This Sunday every Aussie in the Shire get down to North Cronulla to support the Leb and wog bashing day …" in the context of choosing to report an incitement to violence by reading the very incitement verbatim on air.

I hope you take this matter seriously, such irresponsible, and quite possibly illegal behaviour undoubtedly contributed to the appalling violence, destruction of property and breakdown of civil order that took place in Cronulla. We should be sending the message that behaviour like this, from a person with influential access to a large audience regulated by yourself, is not acceptable.

I trust you will at least consider making a statement to assure worried Australians like myself that our nation's airwaves are not the playground of extremists and people who nurture violent, antisocial behaviour.

Warmest Regards

Wanker of the Year

I bring you Gerard Henderson ladies and gentlemen.

Australia is essentially a tolerant and accepting society. It is consistent with the essential Australian empiricism that individuals of ethnic background meet their most sustained opposition in the areas where few of them live. This is in stark contrast to genuinely racist societies where ethnic groups are opposed because they are known.

"I don't like you because you're dark and I've never met a darkie," is different from "I've met darkies before and I don't like them." Only in the nuanced mind of a Howard conservative.

It is unfair to blame the mainstream media for what happened. For example, a re-reading of Sydney's Daily Telegraph indicates that it reported the lead-up to last Sunday's events quite responsibly. Likewise, talkback radio did not spark the violence. Young Australians, of whatever ethnic background, can communicate their messages by mobile phones without using the established media.

Really?

Radio doesn't get much grimmer than Alan Jones' efforts in the days before the Cronulla riot. He was dead keen for a demo at the beach — "a rally, a street march, call it what you will. A community show of force."

He assured his huge audience he "understood" why that famous text message went out and he read it right through again on air. "Come to Cronulla this weekend to take revenge. This Sunday every Aussie in the Shire get down to North Cronulla to support the Leb and wog bashing day …"

Daily he cautioned his listeners not to take the law into their own hands, but he warmed to listeners who had exactly that on their minds.

Last Thursday Charlie rang to suggest all junior footballers in the Shire gather on the beach to support the lifesavers. "Good stuff, good stuff," said Jones.

"I tell you who we want to encourage, Charlie, all the Pacific Island people because, you want to know something, they don't take any nonsense. They are proud to be here — all those Samoans and Fijians. They love being here. And they say, 'Uh huh, uh huh. You step out of line, look out.' And, of course, cowards always run, don't they?"

When John called on Tuesday to bluntly recommend vigilante action — "If the police can't do the job, the next tier is us" — Jones did not dissent. "Yeh. Good on you, John." And when he then offered a maxim his father had picked up during the war — "Shoot one, the rest will run" — the broadcaster roared with laughter. "No, you don't play Queensberry's rules. Good on you, John."

It was horrible stuff, larded with self-congratulation. And pity poor Berta — "not of a Middle Eastern family" — who tried to argue there were two sides to this story. When she reported hearing "really derogatory remarks" aimed at Middle Eastern people on Cronulla beach, Jones cut her off: "Let's not get too carried away, Berta. We don't have Anglo-Saxon kids out there raping women in western Sydney."

SMH

Now where would anyone get that idea Gerard?

It gives me great pleasure to award this beautiful and multipurpose trophy to the hands down winner of 2005. Wank on Gerard, may your lubricant of choice be ever free of sand.

Flaming gasbag

"I can smell smoke, better put on my strong and resolute face..."

How about some moral leadership Kim? Why don't you come out and call a mob of 5000 violent racists exactly what they are? Kim Beazley is a moral and ethical coward. Plain and simple. He is not fit to lead a bridge team, let alone the ALP.

The dead rodent sketch

"5000 people rioting and attacking swarthy individuals isn't racism, nudge nudge, wink wink."

Prime Minister John Howard today refused to call Australians racist following the mob violence in Sydney.

But he said attacking people on their basis of their race was totally unacceptable.

He condemned incidents in which up to 5,000 people descended on North Cronulla Beach, chanting racist slogans and attacking people of Middle Eastern appearance.

The violence sparked apparent reprisal attacks late last night, with cars damaged at Maroubra Beach.

"Mob violence is always sickening," Mr Howard told reporters.

"Attacking people on the basis of their race, their appearance, their ethnicity, is totally unacceptable and should be repudiated by all Australians irrespective of their own background and their politics," he said.

"I believe yesterday's behaviour was completely unacceptable but I'm not going to put a general tag (of) racism on the Australian community.

"I think it's a term that is flung around sometimes carelessly and I'm simply not going to do so."

SMH

Message understood.

The return of the shredder

As cruel, amoral and heartless as the men who put him there

No, not the one in TMNT. Saddam's people/plastic shredder, remember that? It was one of the 'reasons' given by our sycophant in chief for invading Iraq. Along with WMD, Democracy (TM) and the size of his Little House on the Prairie video collection. So far no shredding machines have been found, no doubt they're hidden right next to the piles of WMD. No operators of such machines have been found either and no people actually involved in places where it would have been used have come forward. It's distinct lack of existence was an embarrassment for the pro war crowd, insofar as they have a capacity for embarrassment at all, which made me quite surprised to see this:

"I swear by God, I walked by a room and ... saw a grinder with blood coming out of it and human hair underneath," Hassan told the court. During the testimony, Barzan, sitting behind Saddam in the dock, interrupted Hassan, shouting: "It's a lie!"

SMH

Make no mistake, Saddam is a criminal who has undoubtedly committed crimes against humanity. He's been a crook since he first seized power with American help. He was a criminal when he met Donald Rumsfeld. He was a criminal when he invaded Iran and used chemical and biological weapons on them and Iraqis which were provided by America and Europe.

The resurgence of the shredding/mincing machine is a symptom of what's wrong with Saddam's entire trial. The Americans want him to appear to get a fair trial, to prevent him becoming a martyr. However there's no way they can give him a fair trial. Take a look at the crime he's charged with. A mass murder in Dujail circa 1982. Why not charge him for using chemical weapons and invading Iran? Why not any of his other crimes? the simple reason is this is the only thing they can pin on him that doesn't involve American or European complicity. That's why it's necessary to make up nonsense about shredding machines when talking about a dictator who had no qualms simply hanging people and forcing their relations to pay to get back their bodies. A man who quite happily and openly tortured, murdered and committed crimes against the peace, he did all these things with the help of his current jailors and they know it.

When I was a kid we wrote letters to the Iraqi government to free political prisoners on behalf of Amnesty international. I knew about Abu Ghraib before American soldiers were in charge of the rape and torture there. We were always told that although our letters didn't do much, they did something and I remember feeling that wasn't justice enough for the innocent men who languished in that and many other prisons.

What sort of justice does Saddam Hussein deserve? I don't know, that should be for a legitimate Iraqi government to decide. I do know that justice is not the wicked punishing the wicked.

From the office of infant soul torture

When I was a kid the idea that unbaptised infants who died would remain in some sort of 'limbo' for all eternity was one of the many things that led me to reject religion as a pastime for the cruel and the cowardly. It seems the Catholic church is set to rewrite that rule to make it sound less like an eternal punishment for the heinous crime of dying an infant. Funny how god's laws can be rewritten at the drop of a hat. I suppose that means god gets a memo to stop torturing the little kiddies who got into limbo prior to the latest corporate policy change. And how about their parents?

"Dear bereaved,

It has come to our attention that you were informed that your child, Johnny, was consigned to suffer for an eternity because you didn't get him baptised quickly enough. Due to a recent change in corporate policy your child died in the hope of eternal salvation as opposed to the the previous policy of damnation between heaven and hell. We regret any distress caused you by the idea of your offspring suffering for ever and ever and ever through no fault of their own. Management has been notified to cease the child's stay in limbo on receipt of your prayers, in triplicate. We thank you for your cooperation in this matter and hope that this unfortunate oversight does not affect your decision to choose Catholicism as your means to communicate with the Almighty.

From the desk of

Panzerfaust I Pontifex Maximus"