Jihad of the Week

A jihad on the Inglises of the world

When I was in Tora Bora it was very dangerous. The operation was getting serious. Bush was closing in and I thought he had me for sure. In that time I realised that hide and seek is not my best game in the whole world. Instead it is Bush who is the best at it.

So I said, "George, come on, this is not fair, I have no chance, ya ya I know dead or alive blah blah but how can we have a game if you find me so easily?"

God willing Bush is my friend and he gave me an extra head start. He said to me to hide again and he will look somewhere else for a while. So he went away to look for me somewhere else and by God we have had a great game of hide and seek ever since. If he hadn't been my friend when I was in need I would not be able to have continued. Even now he pretends not to think about me but I know it is because now I am the best and he just doesn't want to admit it. Come on George, just admit it so you can go hide and I look for you.

But anyway, helping people is what decent people do. They don't leave each other on a mountain to die because they have to reach the top. Who needs to climb mountains anyway? Like singing and flying kites and educating women, these are not serious things. Mark Inglis is haram, believers should not associate with him, or expect him to urinate on you if you were on fire and he was on his way home after drinking a whole skin of fermented mare's milk. God is great.

Drivers make fine whine

Coronation Drive, City of Brisbane

I found a mail petition today, it was from the local Labor party MP some plonker by the name of Ronan Lee. Was it about IR laws, or Stopping the mayor, Campbell Newman, from tossing $2.5 billion in tax money into 5 white elephant road tunnels? No. It's about a fucking toll bridge.

After years of whining about not being able to zip down Coronation drive at a steady 100km/h with no stops and no jams from home to work the City of Brisbane finally does something, they're building another bridge accross the Brisbane river, only they want people who actually use the bridge to pay for it. Waaaah cry motorists, make people who don't even drive (me) pay for my bridge. Fuck that.

I'm writing that punk a letter asking him to explain who should pay for the bridge if not the people who use it. Driving isn't a right and I shouldn't have to subsidise making someone else's lifestyle choices more convenient. Fucking carpool for all I care. From the number of people I see jammed on that road one to a car I reckon a toll for single occupant drivers would do more to ease congestion than any number of bridges.

Defeat into Victory

I've been meaning to point this out for ages so I might as well while I have a moment. Remember the 'Zarqawi Blooper Tape'? How could you not. It purported to show a master terrorist who couldn't shoot a machine gun, or rather a squad automatic weapon (SAW). Of course the declaration of the footage being a propaganda coup for the occupation meant the loss of some of the tape's context.

First of all have a look at the picture again. The weapon 'Zarqawi' is holding is a M249 SAW. The insurgency counterpart to this weapon is the RPK. The fact that Zarqawi is holding an American soldier's weapon means someone Zarqawi knows killed the soldier it used to belong to and then had enough control of the area immediately after killing him to take his weapon.










The M249

Next they were able to casually drive several vehicles out to someplace in Iraq, park them, shoot off some rounds, shoot some video and then get back into their cars and drive home. All this in a country supposed controlled by the world's greatest military.

Jihad of the Week

A Jihad on Bono

"For pretending that giving him and his corporate masters more money is the only way to help others. For trying to sell a yuppie circle-jerk as changing the world and for making sucky music, except for the Joshua Tree. In this fatwa I declare Bono to be haram. A jihad against this running dog, lapdog lackey of capitalist yankee pigdogs. Believers should not own his music or have dealings with anyone who does, except for the Joshua Tree. Also his friend, the wrinkly, less famous one, Geldof, he is haram also. Anyone who buys this "Red" should be stoned, slowly, over several days, with small pebbles. God is great!"

New Democracy!

Now with 80% less democracy for that great fresh taste.

THE normalisation of US-Libya relations is a natural marriage of a US administration desperate for friends and oil in the Middle East and a government that needs to open its economy to the outside world, observers say.

The Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice, announced on Monday that the US was restoring full diplomatic relations with Libya and removing it from the list of countries designated as state sponsors of terrorism.

Dr Rice called the moves "tangible results that flow from the historic decisions taken by Libya's leadership in 2003 to renounce terrorism and to abandon its weapons of mass destruction programs".

Observers called the announcement proof that promotion of democracy is no longer a top priority of the Bush Administration, which is grappling to hold Iraq together and has turned its attention towards building alliances against a hostile Iran.

"The timing can be explained by a need for the United States to have a positive breakthrough in the Middle East," said Mohamed Sayed Said, a political analyst at the Egyptian government-run al-Ahram Centre for Political and Strategic Studies. "With Libya, Washington gets a regime that has converted itself from radicalism to accommodation." It was self-evident that there was a retreat from democracy and that the US was aligning itself with undemocratic regimes, he said.

Libya has been ruled by Muammar Gaddafi since he seized power in 1969. Analysts expressed no surprise about the rapprochement, saying it was inevitable since Colonel Gaddafi gave up Libya's nuclear weapons program three years ago.

The US lifted its economic embargo against Libya in 2004, and since then, at least six US oil companies have resumed drilling and exploration that had been suspended in 1986. Libya possesses the world's eighth-largest oil reserves, but the US embargo had driven down production by keeping new equipment and technology out of the country.

Libya is still regularly listed by human rights groups as having one of the world's most repressive governments. A survey by Freedom House, a US-based organisation that promotes democracy worldwide, placed Libya in the bottom five countries in terms of the free flow of information.

SMH

These would be the WMD he got from Pakistan, America's latest major non Nato ally. So for rolling over and letting Uncle Sam scratch his belly Gaddafi joins Islam "the boiler" Karimov as a dictator the US just can't do without in its war on tyranny. Eastasia? Eastasia has always been our ally...